BEFORE YOU READ: Don't feel you have to comment, particularly if you have nothing constructive to say, or can't take constructive opposition to your views, or get hot under the collar and forget this is not your page! I'll delete, without notice, any comment which I find to be offensive to me, and that can run the gamut from trying to belittle me or my opinions to doing the same to anyone who chooses to respond here. Take the chip OFF your shoulder before you begin to read, please, or else give this one a pass! Thank you!
You know, every now and again, people make my blood really boil, especially when they spout prejudice while pretending to themselves and others that they are being entirely reasonable and objective. My impulse is to argue with them, to pick apart their "reasonableness", but in the final analysis, what's the point? Some people choose a side and stick to it no matter what, and I've discovered that the older we get, the less tolerant and the more bigoted we become. We have just learned how to mask it better and pretend better that we are listening to others and entertaining their point of view. It's a sham, believe me. None of us older ones is really listening to anyone else, and the only ones who are probably even HALF listening are the young people, whose extremism is NEVER hidden, but who swing more easily from one extreme to another.
Maybe it's the human condition to be that way, eh? We begin life as "out of the closet" bigots/extremists, and evolve into closet ones, to further our agendas, whatever they may be. I find myself as intolerant of these people's views as they are of mine and others'. I am more than a little bit tired of them and of their negative energy. They're a drag, man! Seriously!
This isn't a rant about racism, per se (though what I've said here may be related to it), but this song is as good as any other for exposing an ugly truth about us human beings. And there's no plausible deniability ... just a terrible fear in some of us to be exposed as bigots. To quote from the song, "It's a touchy subject! Bigotry has never been exclusively white!"
49 comments:
One of the lines in the song says " the Mexican waiter should learn English". I agree with that statement. Am I racist? Can I be if I'm Mexican too? Maybe. I think I tend to judge the situation...not the race. I love you dearly!!! I love my kids at school... no matter their skin color and yet if I find myself in "the wrong part of town..I lock the door and drive faster!!! Racist? Maybe... all of the time? Towards everyone? I sure hope not, but by definition...maybe!! What do you think???
I think that's the whole point of the song, Luxy! And I agree with it completely. Which is why all kinds of prejudice bothers me so much, because they assume a "rightness" and "wrongness" on the part of anyone who disagrees, not recognizing that that in and of itself is bigoted. It's about stereotyping and generalizing, and assuming and accepting as true one's own opinions about a matter, often using facts to bolster the bias we bring to the issues.
I'll be the first to admit that I know I'm racist some of the time. And I'm sad to say, it has become more of a "go to" response with me as I've lived longer in this country and seen what goes on. The song is so right..."bigotry isn't exclusively white" at all! And in this blog, it's not just about race, either!
I don't think it's so much the sentiment expressed, Luxy, as it is the WAY in which it is expressed, in a kind of outraged fury, as though said Mexican has committed some heinous personal crime. Racism is so much more than what we say, you know. it's what we DON'T say, what we're thinking and feeling, that gives such destructive power to our words.
Same thing with all forms of prejudice, I think.
I think the older that we become (i.e. the more experiences that we have), three things happen. First, we tend to assume that our experiences are more universal than they are (and thus are less willing to listen to those who have had different experiences leading to different conclusions). Second, if we come across something that should make us question the conclusions that we have drawn from our prior experiences, we tend to treat the new experience as "the exception that proves the rule" or disregard it entirely. Third, we tend to settle in communities in which we are comfortable, shutting ourselves off from potential experiences that would challenge the life that we have built.
My word! You have so succinctly and so beautifully explained this. I must agree with your reading...it's so true, and so sad! Thanks for adding your voice to this discussion, though so far, you are only the second person to do so. Others have come and read, but have chosen to remain silent.
You know what's interesting here is that those of us who choose to settle in other communities sometimes find ourselves in a dilemma. We become the targets of biased behavior, and we respond with prejudice. it's like a vicious cycle, isn't it?
Because in fact, we don't really WISH to change our opinions, do we? We enjoy being entrenched and outraged. :)
when in harlem, walking by the apollo, i feel comfortable enough.... but yes, i feel more comfortable when i'm walking with eric (tutta's '6th son' who happens to be 6'5'', 280 and entirely ebony)....
when in the latino section of san fran, i felt comfortable enough... but yes, more so when clemente and juan were walking with me to a lil ristorante....
wariness is natural in certain situations... auto-animosity ain't... that's a choice....
just saw a vid with sly on the ed sullivan show... 1968... after ed introduced sly (and the mixed-race stone family), before starting the song sly looked in the camera and said 'don't hate the black.. don't hate the white... if you get bitten... just hate the bite'...
but i won't post that ed-vid cuz i like this one better....
Since moving back here to WV, the thing I miss most is diversity. I agree though that everyone has a prejudice in some way no matter how big or small. Maybe because we approach situations and people from our life's experience and norms?
everybody has prejudices....nobody is exempt from them...not one...
love the way you write...
Trust you to come back with a song, David! And what a song, my friend! I agree with you that auto-animosity is a choice that no one has to make!
You're so right, Mannu!
You like that sometimes I lose my mind and post a serious and potentially explosive bog, eh? *grins*
Maybe, Chey, and it's so hard to admit that maybe we're limited. In fact, it's probably the hardest thing for a human being to admit, because in the end, WE want to be in control, WE want to be right! We think we need that, like we need air to breathe...except, we DON'T need to always be in control, to always be right.
Can we at least pretend we're always right?
*chuckles* We do anyway, don't we, Chey? Hehe!
Absolutely! :op~
Bigotry is the stubborn and complete intolerance of any creed, belief, or opinion that differs from one's own.
By this, most of us with a strong opinion is a bigot regarding something. What gets me in the end, is the unwillingness to "listen" and intelligently debate, or acknowledge another beings truths. It's MY version of the truth, or nothing. Bigotry isn't really racist... it comes about more often in regards to lifestyles... I don't agree with a thug lifestyle... be it true thug, or the thuglets, pretending to be the badasses they think they are. It's not a lifestyle for me. When I see someone dressed as what I perceive as "thug", I immediately go... "Ugh, really?" Am I bigoted? Yes... MY culture has led me there... are they necessarily BAD people for wanting to present the thuglet image? I don't know that, but yet I assume they are...
A handy definition, Duckie. And you're right...bigotry isn't racist, but racism is bigotry!
And yet... the flip side of that coin... I don't live the gay lifestyle, but I say let those who do be... others want to deny that and send them all off to a gay island where they don't have to be contaminated by their gayness...
I see the two sidedness of this, and it boggles the mind. I want to tell the thuglets to pull up their damn pants, but want to slap the crap outta the homophobe telling the gay community their wrong, and living a life that will send them to hell...
Yes, it is...
There's a difference though, isn't there, Duckie, between being a "badass" and being gay. One can harm others, the other cannot. I don't think it's bigoted to be against "badassness". I think that's just common sense.
No, I'm saying the ones who dress the part, but aren't the badasses. I call them "thuglets". They seem to want to be "hard", but can only dress the part. It's only make believe on their part, but I see the lifestyle and think, "Be normal..." What, though, constitutes normal? It's not a standard that applies the same to everyone, but one we think should...
Thuglets...okay! Hehe!
As to what's normal, who's to say? Normal might just be anything that doesn't stand out from the rest, does not stick out lie a sore thumb...
But then... I'M not normal most of the time according to that definition.
I think in the same way that "everyone's a little bit racist", everyone's a lit bit abnormal, too! LOL!
You will always be my normal Duckie!!
Hahaha, yes, I suppose I will. :-)
its not about serious ...or explosive...its about your sharp command over your words and your thoughts and how you express them.
Thank you, Mannu! Now you're gonna make me go look and see what you're talking about. :)
i think there are levels of bigotry....in each one of us.....
and the issues each one of us is bigoted towards will obviously vary vastly
i may judge somebody in my head.....about their choices...all the while knowing its THEIR choice , i must respect their right to do that.....
I think everyone is prejudiced, sometimes from experience, sometimes from listening to others and sometimes from fear of the unknown. All I as an individual can do is work within and with that self awareness. I can be wrong about pretty much anything and anyone.
More people need to understand and do this, Maggie!
What a great blog Kae. I dont think I can really add anything that has not already been discussed but I did enjoy reading everyones thoughts on the matter.
Thanks, Angie! I was feeling reflective again! :)
Yup. Institutions have as first item on the agenda, to point out differences and promote exclusive-ism.. it's us and them.. whether that be race, religion or creed. However, when you boil it down to the individual level..people are people. Serendipitously..I was thinking today about how my close friends are from so many different nations... England, South Africa, Ireland, Germany, Australia, New Zealand, Scottland, Russia, Italy, Spain, Mauritius, Holland, India, Singapore, Malaysia, Sri Lanka, France, Iceland, Denmark, Canada, Colombia, Greece, Japan, China, Austria, Poland, Serbia, Israel, USA..... It makes my head spin...but we have so much in common, despite hugely different upbringings, bank balances (or lack of), and beliefs. I love it.
Precisely! And it is sad when we forget that!
Oh it's easy to be all high and mighty when one is hypothesizing...but face to face with a real person, brings reality to the fore, and the reality is we are more similar than we are different.
I grew up in the Army around all kinds of races so my world has even been intergrated and I am guilty of making judgements bases on race, but when I find myself doing that I question myself. I think we are all racist in some ways but the important thing is to recognize it and call yourself on it. The annoying people are the ones who just go with their racism and the ones who embrace it.
Precisely, Lisa! :)
I don't know that I have much to add to this conversation. Obviously it is easy to gravitate to what we are used to. When we have the same ideals as another race doesn't seem to matter much. Then we can explore another culture's ways without fear of offense and have an open mind.
If people can sit down and say "I thought that you would be like 'this' but I see I was mistaken" then there would be more understanding.
Indeed! And in other areas of prejudice, if people were just willing to admit that their bias is real, and be willing to examine other perspectives, and even embrace them if they should, there'd be a lot less pain in the world!
I believe prejudice is a luxury. Certainly if all was striped away, like in a foxhole situation, basic human survival would cause people to unite.
However, that unity would not necessarily be based on an absolute belief in the equality of all. it would merely be a means to an end. As the saying goes, a leopard cannot change its spots. Even if all leave that situation with a new appreciation for other people, it doesn't mean all leave with a new understanding of themselves.
I seem to think you made a good point.... I dont think all people get older and mask.... some just get tired of fighting the same fight day in and day out.....
treatment should be fair ..... anything more to add to that is just toppings
You make an interesting point, Wolfie. And I agree that treatment should be fair above all.
Im confused K, i guess i do not understand the coincept.
People are people.
If they are nice to me, I'm nice to them.
Bottom line.
I actually get kind of beat up about that..im often called simpleminded or unaware of issues..but thats ok..i'm just me.
Simpleminded? Yeah. Right! About as a complex as they get is nearer the truth.
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