Meet Joan...old lady #3! Were we fated to meet? Did God have a hand in it? Whatever the explanation, I guess I needed to hear it from a flesh-and-blood older woman for it to sink in. I was in the little mall where the CVS pharmacy is this morning, going to make some photocopies at the Minuteman Press store. As I was waiting to have my copies made, an older lady walked in, and the gentleman working there approached her to discuss the work he had been doing for her.
Being the (sometimes) gregarious creature I can be, I smiled and said hello, and spoke to her regarding some general comment she had made to him. This began a conversation between her, the woman serving me, and me, in which Joan (I asked her to give me her name and phone number, and she did!) told me her age -- she's 65, surely not as old as the two I saw yesterday, and certainly in much better shape than they were -- and her physical condition -- a smoker who eats whatever she wants, doesn't exercise, and yet has normal blood pressure and is only, according to her doctor, 15 lbs. overweight.
When she told us that her doctor said she was carrying around an extra fifteen pounds, both the woman behind the counter and I looked Joan up and down and said, in unison, "Where?" She laughed merrily and said, "Ladies, you've made my day! I'll love you all forever!" We all laughed at that, and Joan went on to give me some advice, when I told her how I had figured out that women of a certain age (retired women) were discarded by society.
"Retirement is not easy," she said, "and you have to be ready for it. Many retired women start their own businesses (I immediately remembered Kurt's suggestions -- than you, Kurt!). Once you retire, everyone will want you to do things for them. You'll have to learn to say 'No!' But you must get out there and make new friends. Your work friends will have moved on six months after you leave, so you'll need to find new people to share your life with. Volunteer in one place -- don't do more."
She paused, as she wrote her name and phone number (which she had to think hard to remember, chuckling as she did!), and then added, "Oh, and one more thing. Every week, put an X through one day -- doesn't matter which day. That's the day that is only for YOU! Do anything you want to do, or do nothing. It's YOUR day to just please yourself, and no one else!"
I smiled and thanked her, and she asked me my name again. "It's Karen," I told her, "but when I call, I'll remind you of who I am by reminding you of the woman you talked with in Minuteman!"
"Good plan!" she answered, smiling, and I took my leave.
Why did this make me feel better, after yesterday's
meltdown, you ask? It's a different day...perhaps it's as simple as that. Or maybe it's because today is my 29th wedding anniversary, and I have other things on my mind, like how I managed to stay married to one person for so long. Or maybe it's because Joan showed me that there IS life after retirement, and that I might just be okay as I am, and that I will be okay then, too. Whatever the reason, I was enormously cheered by this encounter.
I think I wanna be like Joan when I grow up! I said as much to her after she told me how healthy she was, despite her bad health behaviors, like the smoking. I didn't feel like a loser. Thank you, Joan! 
