Pun-ography! LOL!

Sent to me in e-mail by my cousin!

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Jokes about  German sausage are the wurst .

 

A soldier who survived mustard gas  and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran .

 

How  does Moses make his tea ? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see  where the sun went. Then it dawned on me .

 

This girl said she  recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore  .

 

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.  I can't put it down  .

 

I did a theatrical performance about puns.  It was a play on  words .

They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type-  O.

 

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

PMS jokes aren't funny,  period.

Why were the Indians here first ?  They had  reservations .

Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory.  I hope  there's no pop quiz .

Energizer bunny arrested.  Charged with  battery.

 

I didn't like my beard at first.  Then it grew on me  .

 

How do you make holy water?    Boil the hell out of  it!

 

Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job  because she couldn't control her pupils ?

 

When you get a bladder  infection, urine trouble .

 

What does a clock do when it's hungry ?  It goes back four seconds.

 

I wondered why the baseball was getting  bigger. Then it hit me !

 

Broken pencils are pointless.

 

I  tried to catch some fog. I mist.

 

What do you call a dinosaur with a  extensive vocabulary ? A thesaurus.

 

England has no kidney bank, but  it does have a Liverpool.

 

I used to be a banker, but then I lost  interest.

 

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx  .

All the toilets in New York 's police stations have been stolen.  Police have nothing to go on.

 

I got a job at a bakery because  I kneaded dough.

 

Haunted French pancakes give me the  crepes.

 

Velcro - what a rip off !

 

Cartoonist found dead in  home . Details are sketchy.

 

Venison for dinner ? Oh deer  !

 

Earthquake in Washington obviously government's fault.

 

I  used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so  sure.